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| I'd like to reaffirm the fact that if one sets one mind to do something, he/she (particularly me) will definitely make it. (Just like if I'm determined to blog now, I will still have a way to do it even though I closed my livejournal.) I don't know if that is a result of an overly strong sense of (i'd hate to admit this, cos it's ironic) self-worth (at times) or just a disillusioned and overestimated view of my own capability. In any case, I'd regret to say that I have not found motivation to prove this worth academically in these 2 years of my life in Hwach, even though I tried. Perhaps only at the eleventh hour. I'm saying all these, because I met my primary school form teacher for lunch today. I wouldn't say that my lame 270 was a success story (ahahah what the shit man). But he thinks that I'm a bright kid who has developed a warped attitude towards life and schooling. I'd like to add in a word.. Maybe I'm too naive to think that A levels is not my life. Of course it's not my life, but it is a part of my life. All these while I have been putting up resistance in committing myself to it simply because I do not want A levels to lead me by the nose and affect the things I do with my life. But I'd like to say that now I truly believe that Success breeds complacency. It may not apply to everyone - but that is me. Of course, success is subjective. In any case, that still perfectly explains the condition of my grades that I've been getting/will be getting (aw A levels 2009), which i will, to be honest, never be proud of. After speaking to him for 3 hours, I know that there are some crucial decisions that I'd have to make in March 2010. I will still work for the rest of the papers. But at least I know that no matter what the outcome, I know that I will be able to embrace my successsful failure with the whole of my heart and still be happy.... not because I want to celebrate the fact that I probably will not do well, but because I know that I will be able to take it in my stride, because this will be one of the most important learning points in my life. I don't think A levels is not important. It is important to do well for it. But having failed to measure up to its level of importance and understanding the cause of it all at the end of the day would be equally important to me. Because it's not about the end, it's about the journey. | | |
| Almost half a year has passed and all I can say is that many things have happened and many things have changed. I have not grasp hold of my academic life and i have lost hope and faith in something and somebody i believed alot, alot, in. Nevermind, I probably don't deserve a lot of things in my life. Promos are coming, and...... another year has passed. A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. | | |
| I'm pretty much entitled to blog here again, right? Okay not when I just faulted thrice AGAIN for all comers meet today at ITE simei (ohmy what a place). Jumpandfault more likely -.- My academic life is so screwed up I don't know where to start picking up the mess...
Life in Hwachong has been pretty disgusting... Especially in terms of schoolwork. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that you and you and you and you are there for me.  I hope everyth becomes better soon. Really. | | |
| the reason why im here, is to avoid someone who's reading there. and it's quite ironic, cos it's actly kind of the same situation here but i shall not elaborate. anw i'm very confused. and it's precisely because i'm confused that's why i'm not doing anything. in fact, i think i'm not even feeling anything cuz the moment i do, i brush it off. How i do it i don't know- laugh it off hahahahahahahah or just sleep or just watch tv or just try to talk myself out of thinking abt anything. and it's also true to say that when i'm unhappy i don't really know what i'm doing, much less know what i'm actually thinking. (unless i really brace myself for it, but that's another case). so now, I think i roughly know what's bothering me but i really don't see the need for it to, uh, bother me. And there are 2 things that still give me weird feelings (which i hate but can't stop, but i guess it's inevitable), but i guess this 3rd thing holds the most significance (I don't even know if this should be the correct expression). So today thing3 _ _ _ _ _ which i am kind of bothered by and i even felt like i want to do something similar (you know, an eye for an eye) but no i don't think i'm gonna do it :/ even though like i am given a chance to really do so. (someone called!!! :O) Sigh. One, totally no mood to (contrary to popular belief). Two, yuan yuan xiang bao he shi liao omg hahahahahah chinese proverb sia ok whatever LAR. So i'm just here to rant, that's all  I missed the smileyfaces!! haha and i still like my xanga i realise. This place ended when it started.  nah, or maybe it should be  . Geeeeeeeeeeez it would be different if you were the one asking you know, but that's not supposed to happen and i'm not going to let it be like this anymore  I'm half-glad what could have happened was stopped but the other half wants to know what could have developed if it wasn't. Then again, 3 is kind of like 2. Which is disgusting.. Anyway whatever I do it's going to end up my fault and subsequently incur people's wrath but did anyone ever realise that actly anybody else might have just done the same thing if they were me..whatever the case, NOW, in order to not let something like that happen again I'll just do nothing. Anyhow to me happy endings don't exist. So to hell with all that shit, after i rant it's going to be oh-verrrrrr. Updates on my life: I am continuing track. This also means i still want to jumpandfly. | | |
| Heehee what am i doing back here. aiya sorry I couldn't resist  cos i took a hiatus at my current place and and and i am too embarassed to blog there hehehehehe SORRY JUST ONCE. Release some stress. today i studied alot! okay lah quite a bit. Saturday I stoned! Sunday I stoned! So I stopped stoning on Monday and studied w/ Derek. Tuesday I got my period cramps so I slept the whole day and studied at night! Wednesday (which is today) I went to meet der and beni my tablemates and we studied yay. Der is so retarded its funny. "Why your parents don't look like sharks but your bro and you look like sharks" "COS MY GRANDFATHER WAS A SHARK, CAN?" hahahahah wtf crazyshit OHH we met hanchih for lunch also! Nice seeing her and her curly hair in the sept hols  Then met jw and yj for dinner and talked alot! Laughed like mad at quite some things today i love my friends!  I must be more extreme than what i am (: only then can i accomplish stuff! gogo. Hope tmr will be exciting. _s suck !@#)(%&# I don't deserve to emo about _ hmmm! Cos someone else is having a harder time lah like SERIOUSLY so i shouldn't be lame -_- Haha i'm gonna get whacked if someone finds out i blogged here despite declaring a hiatus there XD haha and srsly I doubt i'll ever come back to jumpandfly even if i really fly next year lah. Don't like the name already :D actually still like lah. FLY LEH who can fly right only i can hoho. anw next yr got first 3 months i think. I am going to join track tennis soccer softball basketball netball canoeing dance choir and math club (if you think i'm serious) DON'T FIGHT WITH ME nevermind next time the thing next time then say. Now just let me talk some kok I found some pictures I've never seen before from LSC on lf's online photoalbum! Lol they are actually quite crappy. I LIKE. shall upload How much more retarded can we look ahaha
 Lol what a crappy picture XD
 Last row madness!
 mememememe hulahooper!
 GREAT FUTURE
 haha 
Laughing at the nostril girl
 haha what a costume-_- 
Okay i won't come back anytime soon! May the kongzi god be with me for eoys | | |
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