I'd like to reaffirm the fact that if one sets one mind to do something, he/she (particularly me) will definitely make it. (Just like if I'm determined to blog now, I will still have a way to do it even though I closed my livejournal.) I don't know if that is a result of an overly strong sense of (i'd hate to admit this, cos it's ironic) self-worth (at times) or just a disillusioned and overestimated view of my own capability. In any case, I'd regret to say that I have not found motivation to prove this worth academically in these 2 years of my life in Hwach, even though I tried. Perhaps only at the eleventh hour. I'm saying all these, because I met my primary school form teacher for lunch today. I wouldn't say that my lame 270 was a success story (ahahah what the shit man). But he thinks that I'm a bright kid who has developed a warped attitude towards life and schooling. I'd like to add in a word.. Maybe I'm too naive to think that A levels is not my life. Of course it's not my life, but it is a part of my life. All these while I have been putting up resistance in committing myself to it simply because I do not want A levels to lead me by the nose and affect the things I do with my life. But I'd like to say that now I truly believe that Success breeds complacency. It may not apply to everyone - but that is me. Of course, success is subjective. In any case, that still perfectly explains the condition of my grades that I've been getting/will be getting (aw A levels 2009), which i will, to be honest, never be proud of. After speaking to him for 3 hours, I know that there are some crucial decisions that I'd have to make in March 2010. I will still work for the rest of the papers. But at least I know that no matter what the outcome, I know that I will be able to embrace my successsful failure with the whole of my heart and still be happy.... not because I want to celebrate the fact that I probably will not do well, but because I know that I will be able to take it in my stride, because this will be one of the most important learning points in my life. I don't think A levels is not important. It is important to do well for it. But having failed to measure up to its level of importance and understanding the cause of it all at the end of the day would be equally important to me. Because it's not about the end, it's about the journey. | 
I hope everyth becomes better soon. Really.